We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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