just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
