Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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