The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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