Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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