THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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