A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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