He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
