I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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