I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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