just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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