and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
