yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
