u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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