I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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