i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
