dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Drunk is a universal language darling
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
