Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
