I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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