yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
