i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
