you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
