sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
