We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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