Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
