I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
