and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
