I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
