somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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