how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
