I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
