FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
