I hate all girls vehemently.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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