I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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