So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
