dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
