My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
