You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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