My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
