It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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