i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
