Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
