You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I supernannyed him into submission
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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