Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
