I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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