oh god the rape fog is back!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
