There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
