So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
