Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Quick, to the slutcave!
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
