someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
