my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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