he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
